In the tears of joy lies the tears of sorrow

Salam to All,

My secondary school friends from Form 5 1978 and Form 6 1980 (ha now you can guess my age) were planning a reunion or rebonding and whilst waiting for the big day - after all most of us had not seen each other for over 30 odd years - I reflected on the things that may have been and how this reunion came about.

Perhaps being from the same age group helps in that the taste and environment were similar and the social atmosphere reflected the times then but hey this is group of boys (78) who grew up without the internet and facebook and e mail but have taken to the technology like a swan to water.

On the eve of our gathering, I reflect on the path taken by the organisers in making this gathering/reunion of sorts. The poignant memories associated with the starting point, the birth of the idea so to speak and the sorrowful occasion that gave birth to the idea.

Some of us would remember Ahmad Sazali Nordin - our handsome sportsman. The guy who played soccer for our school and managed to represent Perak. The guy who was gregarious in nature (though at that time we did not know the meaning of the word). The sportsman. My friend.

As his friend - I am sad to say that I failed him, in that I did not visit him when he was sick and when he passed away, I did not get the chance to speak to him and seek forgiveness for the mischief that we committed together during our stay in the Boys Hostel during our time in the Cadet Corps and on one of my trips aboard MAS when he was the Chief Steward. I did not get to thank him for the life lessons he taught me - knowingly and unknowingly. Most importantly I lost touch with him. Yes we did meet on and off this past thirty years - but the time spent then, in retrospect was too short. Either we were too busy or we carried our historical baggage (a rivalry which in hindsight was not much to shout or boast about) which came between us, which became a barrier to us communicating.

I did learn from him that he had resigned from MAS as he had reached a career ceiling in that he was Chief Steward of the 747 fleet. (There was no A380 or 777 then. The 747 was the largest aircraft then in service). He had joined a friend and was doing some marketing, selling wood based products and such. Later on joined our President Faisal and worked with Faisal and Hasni and before that or was it after that with Shakib Emir.

I remember telling him 'Li - at least you made it to the top of one of your jobs - so make it happen again and it is not what post we have or that I am a lawyer, as we are all in the life to make something of ourself and our family. You are one of the hero's from our batch.We will still be friends and we have shared memories together.'

So when Megat Fuzy called me up and said that Sazali was in Hospital Bangi with intestinal cancer, I was in China attending to some matters for my employer. I resolved to visit him as soon as I got back but that was a promise that I was never able to keep. I allowed the promise to fail and I let my friend down.

So when Megat called me to say the Sazali has passed away and that he will be buried, I reflected on what I have become and what I have not. I reflected on the time together and the time lost.

Even in death I was denied seeing his face, now all I have are pictures and snapshots of him and importantly memories - warts and all. I asked myself 'did i allow all the historical baggage of petty rivalry jealousies to come between us' and I honestly have to answer YES.

Well I will put this up as 'regrets I have had a few' as in Sinatra's song and I have resolved not to have any more regrets when it comes to meeting up with my friends.
I will not allow the historical baggage of unpleasant memories get in the way. I will not allow the past to stand in the way and I will not allow anything to stop me from reconnecting with my friends, my historical friends. Of course family and career will still dictate my life but they will not stand in the way. Not anymore.

I missed the Ipoh gathering though I was the one that suggested it as I was sent to Hong Kong by my employer so I tender my humble apologies for that miss and I thank Chomel for making the event come true.

So my friends, let us remember that the idea of this gathering came from the grave yard in USJ Subang Jaya on the occasion of putting to rest a good friend.

I will start a new slate and create a new batch of memories to take back.

Congratulations to Rahman, Hilmi, Faisal, Hasni, Husni, Mael Talang Fuzy and the rest (I apologise for not mentioning you) for organizing this. Thank you for you guys for posting e mails and sharing your memories with me. Keep it coming and you will not hear any complaints from me.

May Allah bless you and I sincerely look forward to seeing ALL of you tomorrow.

--
live long and prosper